Whose Fault?

Whenever I read about children being charged in court for abusing or beating up their parents, it kept me wondering whose fault was it that things turned out that way. The bond between parents and their children is said to be the closest form of relationship and yet many a time it isn't so. Why is that so? There are many possible reasons that could have caused this close relationship to turn sour but I put the main blame on the upbringing that the parents have given to their children. It's quite common to see a child creating a scene at a toy department when he couldn't get the toy he wanted. We would see the helpless mother trying in vain to pacify the child before finally giving in to the child's demand. Of course, some mums don't give in and would stand firm and leave the child to throw his tantrum or in some cases gave the child a piece of her mind. For the mother who gave in to her child, she would face many more of such embarrassing moments when the child's demands grew as he grew older. Eventually when the mum could no longer cater to his needs, he turned violent. Whose fault is that? As for the mother who stood her ground, she soon found that her child became more resentful towards her as the child didn't feel loved by his mother and grew up against her. In both cases, the relationship didn't grow healthily and was doomed for failure. I'm not a parent but I don't have to be one to know that it isn't easy being a parent, especially a good one. Anyway neither is it easy being a good child as what is good enough to a child might not be so in the eyes of the parent. Parents not only need to inculcate correct moral values but more importantly they need to set the right examples for their children to see. Young children imitate what they see, from how they talk, walk, sit, eat and drink, the influence is boundless. Parents are the mirror of the children and the latter would pick up whatever habits, good or bad, from their parents. And yet, children are being punished by their parents for exhibiting the same kind of unaccepted behaviours that they have mirrored. Parents need to be firm and consistent in their instillation of values and not practise double standard or exhibit behaviours that contradict what they preach. As the child grows older, parents need to be more open-minded and to be prepared to listen to their child rather than just dictating what should or shouldn't be done. Teenage children tend to be more rebellious as they are being exposed to more external influences from sources ranging from friends they hang out with to what they discover on the Net. They become more demanding and expect much more from their parents than when they were much younger. Conflicts arise when parents are caught off guard and are not ready to accept their babies as young adults. Of course, the fault isn't entirely the parents', it takes two hands to clap and children can sometimes go overboard with their requests. Thus, both parties need to have an open mind and to compromise so as to keep the bond intact. Finger-pointing has never solve anything and never will, so whose fault is it isn't important, what is is not to repeat the fault.

~~~ Stay Positive! Stay Happy! ~~~
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